I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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