I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
