what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
