Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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