Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
