I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
