Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
