is your mom at the bar?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.