you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
