Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.