we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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