i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
