oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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