He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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