when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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