Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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