This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
