i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it hurts more in the daytime
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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