yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
