so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize