My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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