he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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