Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize