I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize