I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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