I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
