I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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