Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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