we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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