I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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