I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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