Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he wants to bone in the snuggie
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
