That's intense
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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