His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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