What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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