you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
be right there i have to get my cape
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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