We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize