Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
