Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
