these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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