Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You are a genius and a whore.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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