its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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