who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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