Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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