we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
