the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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