there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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