You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As shirtless as possible
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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