Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
how does that bad decision feel?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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