so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
