If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've blown a few things in my day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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