I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
how drunk are you?
Several
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize