Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
