In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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