you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
