I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
